Ep27: MASTER FAILURE: Why Some Break While Others Break Through with Jack Trama | Mindset Reinvented

What if failure isn't the opposite of success, but a crucial part of it?

We're often taught to avoid failure at all costs, to see it as the enemy of achievement. But what if we've got that all wrong? What if those stumbles, those missteps, those moments when things just don't go as planned, are actually stepping stones on the path to success?

Hey, this is Jack Trama. Welcome to today's episode. You know, failure is a hot topic, but not many people like to talk about it. In my own journey, I have faced failures that felt absolutely devastating at times. I remember one example when I launched my first business venture. I poured my heart, my soul, my energy, my passion into it, and I worked my fingers to the bone, countless hours, late nights, only to see it crumble. Within a year, I felt like a complete failure. I was embarrassed. But looking back now, I realized that the experience has taught me more than success ever could. It reshaped my understanding of what it means to truly succeed.

So today we have a special episode because I want to explore what I would consider to be a counterintuitive idea. We're going to dive into what failure really means. We're going to examine its psychology, and then we're going to look at some famous examples of failure that led to success. And then finally, we're going to discuss some strategies - not just to overcome failure, but to embrace it, to welcome it as a vital part of our growth.

So I want to challenge our assumptions and rethink failure together. Basically, I want you to see your setbacks in a completely whole new light. Now, before we dive in, let's talk a little bit about what we mean when we say failure. Because in today's society, failure is often seen as an inability to achieve a desired result. The missed goal, the rejected proposal. The unsuccessful venture, the bad date. That gut-wrenching feeling when things just don't work out as we hoped.

But here's where it gets interesting to me. This definition of failure is deeply rooted in outcome. It's binary. You either succeed or you fail. But life and growth are rarely so black and white. So what if we looked at failure differently, redefined it? So instead of seeing it as an end result, we view it as a process, a necessary step in learning and improving.

If we look at Thomas Edison, he famously said, "I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work." This is a perspective that shifts failure from a final judgment to a series of experiments, each one bringing us closer to success. And in many Eastern philosophies, failure is seen not as a setback, but as an opportunity for growth. This is a chance to gain wisdom. Failure helps cultivate resilience, and it helps us deepen our understanding of who we are and the world around us.

So, as we continue on with this episode, I invite you to hold on to this new definition of failure in your mind that failure isn't the opposite of success. It's just a crucial part of the journey towards it.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, and it's a very important element to realize, let's talk about how hard it is for us to accept it. Because the fear of failure is deeply ingrained in our psyche. And it can be paralyzing. This fear often stems from an evolutionary past. If we understand it, in prehistoric times, failure could mean death. Now, the stakes aren't that high for us today usually, but our brains still often perceive failure as a threat to our survival. But it's more social versus physical, and the fear can manifest in many different ways.

Some of us become perfectionists, and we set impossible, very high goals and high standards. And what we're doing is trying to avoid failure altogether. And then in the other camp, we might procrastinate to avoid challenging situations. And we're subconsciously reasoning that if we don't try, how can we fail?

So the impact of this fear on our self-esteem, our motivation, our intention, can be profound, and I say perceived because that's what it is. Each perceived failure can chip away at our confidence. It could make us less likely to take risks in the future. It's a vicious cycle, and the more that we fear failure, the less that we try, and then the less we grow.

Here's the truth. Fear is based on a misunderstanding of what failure really is, because failure, again, isn't the final judgment. It's just a stepping stone. Every successful person that you admire has failed numerous times. I think the difference is how they've perceived and responded to those failures. So if we understand the psychology behind our fear of failure, then we can start to change our relationship with it, and we can learn to see that failure is not something to be avoided, but it is as natural and necessary as a part of learning.

So let's talk a little bit about some people in the public eye, some real-world examples of how failure can lead to extraordinary success. I mean, there's so many of them. But off the top of my mind, JK Rowling is the author of the Harry Potter series. And before her books became a global phenomenon, Rowling was a single mother and she was living on welfare. She was broke. Her first Harry Potter manuscript was rejected by twelve different publishers. But she persisted, and that failure led her to eventually bring her work to the world.

Or if you think about Steve Jobs, back in 1985, he was fired from Apple. It was the company that he co-founded. Now this could have been seen as a catastrophic failure, but instead, what did Jobs do? Well, he said it was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. It was humble. And during his time away from Apple, he founded two major companies, Next and Pixar. And he developed skills and insights that would later help him lead Apple to the success that that company has had, which is unprecedented.

If you take a look at Oprah Winfrey early in her career, most people don't know this, but she was fired from her job as a television anchor. Why? Because she was deemed unfit for TV. She was told she was too emotionally invested in her stories. These were the very qualities that were once seen as failures that became the cornerstone of her success. She's become one of the most influential media figures in the world.

So when you think about these stories, it teaches us that failure is not the end. It's often the beginning of something greater. Each of these individuals has faced significant setbacks, but they didn't let them define who they were. Instead, they learned how to adapt. They used their failures as fuel for success.

So the million-dollar question is, how can we change our relationship with failure? How can we learn to accept it? I have some ideas to help you overcome failure, but to use it as a catalyst for growth and for success. I think the most important thing is our mindset. When you have a growth mindset, you see failure not as evidence of being dumb or unintelligent, but as a springboard for growth and for stretching your existing abilities.

Second thing is practice self-compassion. Because we are so hard on ourselves. We're our own critics. And when we fail and we treat ourselves with the same kindness that you would treat a good friend or a loved one, then that changes things. Completely changes things. And I think it's most important to recognize that everybody fails. And it doesn't diminish our worth as a person, even though it feels crummy. It's just the human condition. We're made as imperfect human beings.

And I think making it a little bit easier on ourselves is important too, and that is to set realistic goals and expectations. If we set our goals way too high, there's nothing wrong with it, except that if we're setting them too high, we're never going to get base hits. We're always going to be going for the grand slam. And not everybody gets a grand slam. And that's where failure sets in. Or the fear, the perceived fear of failure sets in.

I also think it's important to take a step back and reflect what went wrong. What can we do differently next time? If we don't spend time doing that, we'll never learn. I also think it's important to reframe our self-talk. So instead of saying "I failed" to "I learned" or "I can't do this" to "I haven't been able to do this yet." That little shift makes a big difference in our mindset.

The takeaway today is to remember it's not about avoiding failure. It's embracing failure and learning from those failures so that we can set up a comeback. So with that, we're going to wrap up. I want you to remember that failure isn't the opposite of success. It's part of a crucial part of the journey. Every failure is an opportunity to learn and to grow and to come back stronger than ever.

So we've covered the new definition of failure, we've explored its psychology, and we've actually seen some examples of success by some of the world's accomplished individuals. We also covered some strategies around accepting failure in our own lives.

So I want to challenge you, which I often do, is go out there and fail. Take some risks, try new things, get uncomfortable, because you will fail. You will fail. Just accept it. But remember that you're in good company, that you're on a path to success. So I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you're interested in these topics and you resonate or are aligned with the things that I'm sharing, I'd love to hear from you. It takes just a few seconds.

This is Jack Trama, signing off. Remember, fail, fail, fail. But fail forward and learn every single time. There's a lesson in everything. Bye for now.