Ep13: Resilience, Fatherhood, and Success: Start with "Who" not "Why" | David Ask | Mindset Reinvented

Jack Trama: folks don't spend the time journaling about this and really understanding what makes them tick? Because in many ways, we're all very busy. We're all chasing different things. And oftentimes we don't have, we don't take a step back and really just why am I feeling this way today? What caused that to happen? Why did I react that way on one side and then on the other side is celebrating some wins, no matter how small they may be, and recognize those wins. Why is it, do you think, that people don't spend the time doing an inventory of their lives this way so that they can be better and feel better about things?

David Ask: Yeah, man, I think it's a pretty loaded question in many ways. And the reason is because I think that some people avoid that at all costs. It's not that they just don't kind of don't want to do it or no one has even, like, for instance, their family of origin, right? They didn't grow up where talking about those internal spaces was even something, right? They just didn't do it. Some people have been told mistreated, or how about this? They've been, not treated. They've been treated with indifference. Like you just don't matter. So they have an internal dialogue that kind of begs the question, what if I sat down and I started to try to identify those spaces in me? If there's nobody there.

David Ask: I mean, we're getting really deep here, right? But that's the big issue. And so one of the things that I'm doing in Guardians of Grit is just this idea that you know who you are. So I'm going to jump into the deepest end of the pool here. So I believe, where do we even get the word authenticity? Most people can't answer that. I've talked to psychologists and psychiatrists and they're like, I have no idea. It comes from the word author, right? We don't self author. I didn't make me. I didn't choose my eye color. I didn't choose my taste buds. I didn't choose my skin color. And guess what? In the land of the free and the home of the brave, we don't choose our own personalities. You don't choose anything. You get to choose what you do with it. But how do we know that that's a law like gravity?

David Ask: Well, those of us who have children. Jack, do you have children?

Jack Trama: No, I don't.

David Ask: Okay. But. Or siblings, for that matter, when you're...

Jack Trama: Plenty of nephews and nieces.

David Ask: Yeah, but when they come out of the gate, I'm talking within weeks or even days, for that matter, you can sense their little spirit is so different from their sibling. And you get into, like, three or four or five months old or, you know, they heck, you know, seven, eight, nine. When they start walking, they're so vastly different. Their little essence is so precious and sweet and unique and different. Of course, they look different on the outside, but guess what? Even when there's twins and triplets and they're identical, their personalities are so different.

David Ask: And here's the neat thing. Up until you're hopefully four, five, six years old, little kids, unlike us, our real sophisticated selves, they're not thinking about being authentic. I need to be my best self and all that kind of stuff. They're just doing their deal until they get punched in the face, hopefully, metaphorically. Life happens. Somebody treats them poorly or mocks them or bullies them or whatever that is, and they start listening to the 9 million marketing messages that you're not good enough. And if you don't have this or look like this, then of course, you're a loser, which is a bunch of malarkey.

David Ask: Well, then they start questioning everything, right? And we all go through it. Psychologists have the term self actualization. So when you hit those teen years, right, that's why teenagers kind of buck their parents. It's a natural thing. Granted, there's wonderful ways to mitigate some of that stuff and support one another, but they're literally trying to figure out where is the, you know, where do I end and where do my parents begin, you know, the self. And they're desperately trying to find boundaries and start to nail things to the ground that they can stand on, you know, what do you believe. And of course, that, coupled with a bunch of testosterone or whatever else is, causes that to be pretty filled with a lot of sparks.

David Ask: But what's interesting is, ideally, you're teen late teen early twenties, you should self actualize. But guess what? Can't do that by yourself. We were meant to be raised. Right. What does that mean, caused to rise? That means you have to have, ideally, your mom and dad, right, who made you, in essence right, just look at you and say, hey, you're made of awesome. And you have a fingerprint that's unique. A retina scan that's unique. You got a soul and a DNA that's really unique. I want to figure out what the author put in you. And let's go ahead and mine for gold, because I think you're made of awesome. My favorite quote, by the way, is a guy named Benjamin Disraeli. He's a former PM in England, and he says the greatest good you can do for another is not to share with him your riches, but to reveal to him his own.

Jack Trama: Amen.

David Ask: And can you imagine holding up a mirror? Okay, how about this, Jack? What if you and I spent the next six months just palling around, hanging out, and we started to see some riches in each other? And I'm like, hey, Jack, man, you just got up on stage and you did this. Dude, that was awesome. Right? Well, what does that do to you that galvanizes the greatest good, the summum bonum, the highest riches in you? What if parents did that right? You know? Hey, Parker. Hey, Kate. My kids and I've done this with them. Do you see what I see, man? You're made of awesome. And by the way, Parker. And I'm talking getting really granular. Hey, Parker, by the way, I was listening to your buddies talk up in the family room yesterday, and I love how you asked this type of a question and gave him space to respond to you and didn't try to solve his problem. I can tell that type of thing means a lot for you. And I think that might be a superpower. What do you think? Right. You're seeing something and saying something again. We were meant to be loved. And that looks like something that's not. Hey, dude, nice shoes. Right? That's touching someone's soul and validating it.

Jack Trama: Well, imagine the world that we live in if more people took that position and recognized the gifts that people have. Not only recognize it, but like you said, make it known. Yeah, make it known. Like, uplift that person. That's probably what they need to hear at that moment in time, because they don't hear it often enough. The only voices that they hear is usually what's going on in the mind, which is replaying the same narrative over and over again. And sometimes it's not serving them very well at all.

David Ask: Oh, and the proofs and the pudding. I mean, it's, you know, again, it's. I just feel like this idea that, you know, I think. I don't think there's a soul alive. Right. Whether what you believe about eternal things and stuff. Okay, we. We differ on that. But if you were to ask someone, you know, what is the most important, the highest energy source or whatever language you want to use, right. I think. Most people would say love, but love. Again, it's not a slap on the. Back and here's a stick of gum. Love causes you to jump on a grenade for your friend. Love causes you to do sacrificial things. Because, um, your affection for someone and. Wanting them to thrive and grow and. Be and become, it's palpable. There's something inside of you that just burns, that's willing to suffer. Like that word passion comes from the word suffer. You're willing to suffer for someone that changes people. Right? Even as I say that, by the way, I'm getting goosebumps myself because that's what we were made for. And I'll be honest, I think that's who made us.

David Ask: And that's the proofs in the pudding, right? We can't get away from this idea of author authenticity. And you started to. And by the way, back to your question about how do you know, why do people avoid that? Well, but they don't have anybody to help them. You literally, even if you're 40 years old. I talked to a guy the other day who's, you know, three kids, works out of college and, you know, his parents were divorced. He's just a human doing and not a human being. This guy's just existing. He's literally, he told me, I've never met him face to face. He sent me a message on Instagram. And said, I think I'm gonna give. It one last try. Um, I wouldn't be sad if my. Car was wrapped around a tree tonight. And of course, I'm like, holy smokes, I gotta call this guy, right?

David Ask: Well, here's the interesting thing. He is a wonderful person. He's a, you know, a good and kind man. He loves his girls, right? He loves his wife. Like, he has the affection there, but he has no idea what he's doing. No one has ever mined for gold in him, right? So he has no idea what the. Tools are in his belt. And he has such emotion and desire. But just because you have desire doesn't. Make you good at building transmissions or fixing transmissions, right? Just because you have a lot of emotion around anything doesn't make you good at it. We were meant to be raised and stand on the shoulders of those who've gone before us. So I think that, um.

David Ask: Part of, to your question, why don't people do it? Well, I think it's multifaceted. Sometimes they don't believe that they have anything to offer, but then fear actually triggers ego, right? It's kind of the same thing, fear and ego. And you have to humble yourself in order to start looking in those internal places. But guess what? There's a big difference between humility and being depressed. Humility is actually choosing a lower place. Of listening to someone else from a position of strength, whereas being low and. Depressed is just being low and depressed. So it takes an. An active participation in that.

Jack Trama: Yeah. David, this is a fascinating conversation, and you are someone who clearly has done the work and has a lot of insight around these things and you as a parent. And, gosh, if all parents took themselves out of the picture and focused more on uplifting their children, it would be a beautiful world. And, the one thing that, you know, from my perspective, for those that haven't been blessed into a family that uplifted them in that way and are stuck with some limiting beliefs as of today, not to say that they're stuck forever, but they've got them now. I think it's so incredibly important. First and foremost is to forgive yourself and forgive others who may have not given you what you had hoped for in your life, that forgiveness comes first, because really, you can't move the needle. You can't have a breakthrough. You can't break that chain of feeling a certain way if you don't forgive. And forgiveness is so incredibly important.

David Ask: Man, I'm tracking with you. Yeah, keep going. This is great.

Jack Trama: Yeah. I mean, forget forgiving ourselves, forgiving others, and forgiving situations that, yeah, non human related things, you know, the situation of. Okay, well, I have sleep apnea and it's killing me. Well, yeah, we've got to make peace with it. We can't, we can't grapple with it for the rest of our lives. And I really believe that once, once we overcome that, then we've got to, we've got to have a pattern interrupt. Yeah, yeah. And break it. Because if we don't break it and if we don't show up for our siblings and for people that we love, they're not going to be able to carry the torch. And now you go generation to generation to generation and it's the same old, same old. What are your thoughts on that?

David Ask: Yeah, yeah. The forgiveness piece is, it's so powerful, you know? I mean, because, uh, here's the interesting thing is as children especially, and I don't care if you're, you know, in your twenties and thirties, it's hard, you know, because it's our parents right to be angry at them. So we quite often, even children, right, if, uh, especially in broken homes, children, they don't get mad at their parents right away. They internalize it as it's my fault, you know, because they've got such sweethearts, right? So they instantly think, well, it can't be them. It has to be me. I'm not lovable. And. And so I think that. And then, of course, that if that goes on too long, you know, you start treating yourself really poorly.

David Ask: I was sitting with a guy at Starbucks here about a year ago, and, you know, I'd spilled some coffee on the table, and there was the napkin. You know, I grabbed my napkin, kind of wiped it up, and it was just kind of soggy. And there was still enough liquid on the table that I didn't have enough napkin to even wipe it up. It was pretty disgusting. And as he was talking, you know. I realized kind of what was happening internally with him. And I asked him, I said, hey, what is this? And I pointed at the, you know, the soaked napkin, and he said, it's a napkin. I'm like, uh, no, it isn't. It used to be. He's like, what do you mean? I mean, like, I said, literally, this. Is soaked up with some sugar grounds. And probably some Covid and, you know. Whatever else on this table, it's disgusting. It literally is not a napkin anymore. It is transitioned into something that we call trash. You know, like, rightly so. It's not a bad thing. It's an objective look at something that just turned from this into this. And now we should put it in. This receptacle over here that we've named trash.

David Ask: And I said, it seems to me like you treat yourself like trash because you no longer serve a purpose. And, you know, like, he just, uh. Completely has no idea why he even. Gets up in the morning, you know, and it's so I think that. And, um, of course, he started to treat himself as such, right? I mean, his health was just suffering. He was taking some crazy, you know, prescription medicine and abusing that, you know, alcohol and everything else. And. And I said, the reason that you are treating yourself like this is because you don't think that you have massive purpose.

David Ask: So here's what I think is fascinating. We, you know, we're often told, and I think some of the proof is in the pudding, depending on news you watch. You know, that our identity and our, uh, authenticity is something that, you know. That we have to somehow fabricate or generate or try really hard to grasp. Or get and then project it so. That we feel safe, right? So, you know, I'm in my safe little space. That's not. That's not reality. The reality is, is that everything, um, you know, everything, I don't care if it's a blade of grass, one of. These little fuzzy aphids I see flying out here right now and. First time since we moved to Tennessee, but, you know, every blade of grass. Fire, water, every single substance was created for a reason. And we've even taken those substances and made other things for a reason. Right? Purpose is everything.

David Ask: So when you again, top down, identify, man, why am I unique? And I start using all of that beautiful uniqueness to help the world around me. That's where life is found. But when you don't feel like you have a purpose. You literally think, well, I should be. Thrown in the trash? Because I don't. I mean, that's. That's the definition of trash. It no longer serves a purpose. But, again, might be an over simplistic. Way to look at it, but we start then to treat ourselves as such. So I really believe that purpose is everything. In fact, I heard, or, uh, I saw years ago, Tim Keller tweeted that purpose is everything. That was it.

David Ask: And, uh, so it's authenticity, identity, resilience, grit, aren't so that we can stare at our own belly buttons and feel safe the rest of our lives. Right? You better get a stinking helmet. Life is hard, but at the same time, it's because of those hard things that the story, the epic story. Right. Is worth telling. It's worth living. And the overcoming is. Is so much a part of our, you know, our psyche and our nature, and it's what makes the story amazing.

Jack Trama: Yeah. Uh, uh, it's very true. And I think this whole conversation around purpose for a lot of folks is the idea of having purpose in life. And I think for people not being able to identify their own purpose is because sometimes, like you said earlier, they're looking at something that's really grandiose, something that they can put a message out there and people resonate with it. And that's a wonderful thing. It's what you and I both do. But it doesn't necessarily mean that that has to be your purpose. There's purpose found in everything. You mentioned the blade of grass.

David Ask: I love the, you know, the simplicity. And here's the beautiful thing. Right. What's the job of a coach? What's the job of a mentor? What's the job of a parent, really? You know, I think in its most basic form, it's to ask the right questions, you know? I mean, again, with regards to value, you know, kind of general values and convictions, right and wrong, good and bad. Of course I'm gonna lead my family well. But I think that the most beautiful thing you can do for someone is to ask them questions about their values, about their convictions, about their desired dent in the universe, about what gives them goosebumps, what lights them up, what breaks their heart, what gives them energy, and then to start validating those things.

David Ask: But it's not for me to answer those questions or to give someone else some agenda. And here's something else I think is really clear. We. You know, when. What's the first question we ask when we meet somebody at a party? Right? What do you do? Well, okay, that's might be what I do. I sell thermostat guards. Right. But that's not who I am. I'm a wild, inspiring, creative at heart who loves people. That's how I kind of. It's one of the avenues that I pay my bills with, and I found some success in it after a whole lot of ups and downs and hard work. But that's not who I am, right. My buddy is a doctor. My buddy's a lawyer. That's not who they are. You know, they happen to help people with legal work, and some, you know, might give you some stitches or give you some medicine.

David Ask: You know, who we are is what people experience when we're doing anything we're doing right. And I hope that there's cohesiveness, whether you're with your, you know, significant others or, you know, you and me, for that matter. Right? I would hope that. That. Jack, when you walk away from this interview, that you're not thinking about thermostat guards. You know what I mean? I hope that people. I hope that people listening to this aren't thinking, man, that guy, he is an inventor and a. You know, he sells thermostat guards. Of course, I'd like to save people with their inner energy, Bill, so people could quit jacking around with the thermostat. But, man, you know what I would like people to say about me? You know, maybe, you know, like, this whole eulogy exercise, right?

David Ask: I would hope that they would say, man, there's this dude who happens to be married 25 years, has got two really great kids, who likes to play golf. I've got my old dirty titleist hat on today. But yet he affected me in a way that wanted me to dare to dream about those things, about myself that were the most powerful, precious, courageous, goosebump driven ways, and to start identifying those things and to surround myself with not only people that can help me, but who I can help, because we're filled with a world full of exhausted human doings. And the human component, the joy, the beauty, the connection, the love, is just sorely lacking. And I'm on a mission to help Mendez through the guardiansofgrit.com platform, to start identifying the beauty and the riches and courageous things in them so that they can ultimately have more joy and pass that around like they're made of it.

Jack Trama: I love that. I love that. Sign me up.

David Ask: Come on over.

Jack Trama: Yeah, for sure. I love. I love your mission. I think that's phenomenal. It's what we, as men need. We really don't have very many outlets. Uh, and men are very prideful, as you know. Um, you know, expressing ourselves emotionally is a challenge for many of us.

David Ask: Totally.

Jack Trama: And, yeah, I mean, we don't have, uh. We don't have the menstrual. I don't know if this is proven or not, but we don't have the menstrual cycle that women have. So women are more expressive. They're able to express themselves. They have that menstrual cycle. Us men. Everything's bottled up inside, so we need to get to the root of what it is. you understand men. you understand what makes men courageous, what makes men fearful, what makes men full of pride.

David Ask: Of course, I've got guys that are in my mastermind group and people that I've walked with who. Suffer from PTSD and that kind of thing. But, you know, I would say that, that a couple of things that men really suffer with. You mentioned pride and has to be front and center. But I think underneath that, it's fear. You know, it's just fear that I'm not going to be good enough. You know, they compare themselves to someone else's exterior and not their interior, you know? And so when they think about, you know, joining a group like mine or whatever, you know, they just think, um, I'm just. You know, it's that imposter syndrome again, right? It's, I'm not going to belong, and nobody wants to hear about my crap, and my crap is worse than theirs, and, you know, which is just complete nonsense. I've done this for years, and all men struggle with pretty much the same things.

David Ask: And, um, so what I think is fascinating, though, is, in fact, literally just before this, I was on a call with, um, three of the guys in my mastermind group, um, Craig, Jared, and Steve. And we were talking about how men are so wired, you know, to, for instance, you get some guys sitting around a campfire for a while, right? Maybe. Maybe. How about this? A long weekend, right? You come in on a Friday, and we do this twice a year. You come in on a Friday. Hey, what's going on? You know, you kind of get the bluster and bravado out of the way, sit down by a fire, have a hot dog, you start laughing a little bit, you know, somebody dips their toe in the water and says, yeah, you know, you know, somebody asks a question, right? All right, guys, what's. What's your high low? What's working? What's not working? And then somebody unsuspecting brave soul has the courage to say, you know, guys, I'm really struggling right now. And, um, you know, m maybe you can relate to this. I don't know, but I'm having a hard time in, you know, my marriage, or I feel like I'm disconnected from my kids, or I'm just. I'm so burned out, or you, whatever that is. And then all the hands go up, you know? Yeah, me too, you know, and it's amazing how then at that point, right, the guards go down, the pride disappears, the ego drops, and men, once again, you're in the foxhole with your band of brothers, and then the wisdom, because all of that other bullcrap has dropped away.

David Ask: Then the wisdom starts coming out. Then the better questions start coming out, and you find that men, especially when it's night and you're sitting around a bonfire smoking a cigar or something. You're slower to speak. You're slower to quick solve a problem, to move on. And you start getting under the hood. Well, not only at that point do you see some challenges and areas of growth, but you see the greatest riches in somebody. You see their heart come out. You see their care come out. You see, ultimately the things that they wish someone would do to them and say to them, and, man, that's where then they go home. Right? And they realize afresh. Uh, man, I'm not alone. I learned a few things in vocabulary. And otherwise, that I might be able to use with my kids and my wife. And, um, you know, it's. That's where the magic is. You get guys together, and that's where the magic happens.

Jack Trama: Well, I think that. And what. The first thing that came to my mind when you explain that. That environment and that scenario, and I think where men get caught up or get more guarded is because of that fear of being judged.

David Ask: Yeah.

Jack Trama: So if judgment goes away and you're with. And you're with like minded men, maybe different journeys and different challenges, but everybody's there to learn from one another, support one another,

Jack Trama: And I know iron sharpens. Iron is the ISI, slogan, but it just. It makes perfect sense on all of them.

David Ask: Well, and so here's something fascinating. How do we know that that whole paradigm is a bedrock concept in our entire, you know, from the beginning of time? Like gravity. I mean, literally, it's. This is. This is a law like gravity. How do we know that's true? Well, again, those of us who have kids, we don't want our kids getting caught up in the wrong crowd, right? Start hanging out with the goth looking kids and the, you know, the thugs or whatever. We will go to absurd lengths to make sure our kids don't get caught up in the wrong crowd. But we don't, because we know that's a law like gravity. My kid is going to become like those idiots. But guess what? And I say that, you know, kind of kindly, but I want to make the point, right? But we don't see it for ourselves.

David Ask: You know, Jim Rohn, I think, was the guy who probably first said, you will become, like, the top five people you spend the most time with. That's not literally just, you know, playing golf with. That's spending. That's a current spending some emotional, you know, very literal, but emotional and mental capital with somebody. So here's what I think is just awesome, right? You find some guys that are kind of sick of themselves, right? They're sick of the way their life is going, and they finally get to the end of themselves and, like, all right, I need to start learning from some other dudes. Well, uh, you get those types of growth, uh, minded people together, you will have more wind in your sail, more support than you ever thought possible. And again, it's just back to living as you were designed. That's exactly the way we were designed to live in community. In fact, I'll make a, uh. I'm copying someone else here, but I'll make a truth claim. Life is about relationships, period. There's no other purpose. The rest of it is just a context to experience relationship in the. And when we.

Jack Trama: It's in. It's in the Bible. It's in the Bible. It relates to everything in there. Yeah. I mean, I'm not afraid to say it, but it really is. I mean, life is about relationships. else comes second and third.

David Ask: Well, and, you know, you kind of open the door there. Right. So what do I believe? About God. That is largely going to, um, inform what I believe about me. Right? So the one who made Neptune and koala bears and lightning and tigers and tornadoes and hurricanes, and I've got two Yorkies, you know, and made my, made Parker and Kate, you know, and he made me all of those attributes, you know, made me, too, and made you. And when I start looking at image bearers, you know, of that guy, of that, you know, the great light. Right. Then, man, it's amazing how I can safely say, hey, dude, there's something so awesome inside of you. I want to help you find it. And when you see it, and we both see it, I'm going to name it.

David Ask: You know, I mean, I like, uh, by the way, I love the, you know, like Richard the lionheart, you know, they, like the knights, they would give each other a name and a nickname, right. I told a friend this morning, and I actually told a couple of guys about a year ago. I hadn't really thought about it until now, but at some point, I am going to have a nights at the round table room. And I literally bought roundtablealliance.com. and I'm going to create a roundtable alliance where I get men sitting around a table that I made from a tree off my land in a room that looks just spectacular. But inside that room, there are going to be swords with men's names inscribed on those swords. And on the other side of the sword, in latin, right? The unspoken language. There's going to be a name just because it's my room and I get to do it that I gave them. But I'm not going to give them that name until I get to know them. And I'm going to give them a name that I think that they're really going to want to hear.

Jack Trama: I love it. I love it.

David Ask: Some might find that corny, but guess what?

Jack Trama: there's a lot of, uh, symbolism behind that and intent and truth. Everything that you're talking about is coming from a core, core of truth. And that's why I, think that your message is going to resonate super well as you move on in this journey. It's resonating well with me. And there's way too many men out there, who keep themselves on an island all to themselves. Having other men to surround yourself with and be vulnerable together and just really talk this stuff out, I think that's key. What, we're going to do, because, David, time is flying, and, I want. Respect your time and also keep to the time of the show. But I would love to invite you back on another show, if you're open to it, to really dive into certain things, because there's a lot of wisdom inside of you that I would love to get out, for our audience. Now, I know that you're writing, the gardens of grit. What's your timeline around that? When is that going to be released?

David Ask: I was hoping to have it done in a month from now, but, um, we ended up doing a lot of traveling this summer and had a few big curveballs, this and that. So I'm hoping by January now it's got put off a little bit. But, um, if you go to guardiansofgrit.com, comma, you can sign up to reserve your space there. And, um, there'll be a nominal small fee just to kind of join the community and so on. But we're going to have, you know, consistent, communication, touches, probably some, live get together, Zoom calls, things like that. And, we're still kind of mapping out some of that stuff. But I, it's funny, I've had a, just today I had three people message me, you know, men. Hey, when are you starting guardians? I'm in, you know, because they just need it. Right? We're, we're so wired. I was gonna say desperate. No, we're just wired to need community. We just need each other, and especially men. Right? We love, we love, uh, you know, team sports and the movie band of brothers. I mean, we're just so wired for that kind of stuff.

Jack Trama: And so, and there's no reason to just to be a spectator.

David Ask: Yeah. Yeah.

Jack Trama: Which is, what we enjoy doing when we're watching sports. I think it's good to do that, but participate, play some ball, Get in the ring. David, I really appreciate you spending some time with, with us. I know time has just flown by. so thank you. Thank you for coming on board, sharing your journey with us, your insights with us, your perspective. And I've not heard of this before, and it's a really interesting twist with starting, with who instead of why. Uh, that's a huge distinction. And, between grit and resilience, I think you really hit home. So, we're looking forward to seeing the impact that you have on your upcoming book, and I'm going to check you out as well. I like to join your group as well because You're the fearless leader at the top, and you've got a lot of truth behind you. So that's the people that I want to surround myself with.

David Ask: No, man. Thank you so much. What a pleasure to get to know you here. Thank you.

Jack Trama: Yeah, you're very welcome. And we're going to drop. your links and your social media, whatever platforms you want. We're going to put them in the show notes. And, before we conclude, and I know there's been a lot that we've discussed, and I might be a tall order for you, but if you can just real brief, if there was a snippet of, insight that you would want to leave our audience with today before we conclude the call, what would that be?

David Ask: Great question. My friend Glenn Gartner, he said, you know, when we were sussing through all the guardians of grit kind of mission and so on, he said, we're going to introduce people to the things inside of themselves. That are inextinguishable, you know, that are eternal, like it will never, ever be extinguished. And it kind of goes back to that quote, right? The greatest good is, you know, is to, uh, reveal to him his own.

David Ask: And I would encourage you, whether you join the guardians of grit or not, man, be about it. Be about it. Look at somebody and say something. I don't care if you. And again, not about their shirt. Talk about their character strengths. Talk about their effort. Talk about their little piccadillos that you know full well that they need to hear about, because no one has ever loved them in that way.

Jack Trama: I love that. I love that. And I would add one more thing. If you know how we, we ask people on a day to day basis how they're doing, and usually there's a knee jerk reaction, oh, I'm doing okay. How about yourself? or, I'm doing okay. I'm doing all right. But, you know, who's going to listen? Well, imagine if we. If we responded and say, well, I will listen. I genuinely care what's going on.

David Ask: It's a big deal.

Jack Trama: It's a big deal. It opens up conversation. It opens up dialogue. And I've done that in my life several times. And I, uh, will tell you, it's. It's. It's ended up with an embrace. Like, like people that I don't know, they don't know me. They've embraced me because nobody's doing that on the planet. Very few people are doing it.

Jack Trama: Thank you again for joining us. And thank you for tuning into mindset reinvented. If you found value in today's episode, and I have to imagine you did, because I know I did. Please, please, please share our show with others, who may benefit, whether, you know, if they'll benefit or not. We just never know what somebody's going through. So pay it forward. It would do them a whole lot of good and make you feel good in the process. So until. next time, keep living your best life and always start with who. See you soon, guys.

Jack Trama: If you like this episode of Mindset Reinvented, please subscribe, rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts from. It helps more than you know. Thanks. See you next time.