S1, Ep36: The Hard Truth About Forgiveness Nobody Talks About - with Katharine Giovanni

Anger Lives in Your Cells: The Science of Forgiveness

Host: Jack Trama
Everybody in the world says you have to forgive. Some people say you need to forgive and forget. Okay, I have a problem with this. First of all, there might be a magical unicorn human being on the planet someplace that can forget things. I am not one of them. And nobody teaches you how to forgive.

But what if I don’t want to? So, everybody listening right now is thinking on a 10 scale, with 10 being unforgivable dumpster fire, and 1 being a really easy person to forgive. Every single person listening to this broadcast is thinking of their number 10 dumpster fire. And that’s why nobody wants to talk about it, and that’s why nobody wants to forgive.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” And today I’m thrilled to introduce our guest, Katharine Giovanni. Katharine is a three-time award-winning best-selling author and speaker, renowned for her profound work on forgiveness. Her latest book, The Ultimate Path to Unlocking Your Power, offers a unique approach to healing and transformation. Katharine’s journey from surviving stage-three breast cancer has shaped her understanding of resilience and forgiveness. So, today, we’re going to dive into her insights and practical strategies for embracing forgiveness in our lives. And Katharine, I’m thrilled that you’re here today. Forgiveness is a topic that many of us don’t talk about.

Introduction: Katharine Giovanni

Katharine Giovanni: Thanks so much for having me. I appreciate it.

Host: Jack Trama
You betcha. So, Katharine, your journey from overcoming stage-three breast cancer to becoming a best-selling author is nothing short of inspiring. Can you share how this experience influenced your perspective on forgiveness?

Katharine's Journey to Forgiveness

Katharine Giovanni: Well, I think the whole thing started when my mother died in 1990. When she died, it was kind of the flashpoint for me. I went into that deep, dark, horrible mourning, like a lot of us did. And I realized, because I’m very intuitive, that if I didn’t change my life, I was actually going to die too.

I was a very angry person back then. I was in my 20s, and so I quit drinking. It was the only New Year’s resolution I ever kept. I’ve been sober for 34 years. In those programs, they teach you to make amends, so I did. I’m also an extroverted introvert, so reaching out to people and talking to them wasn’t really my thing. But in my world, I want you to forgive people, places, and things.

How did I get through cancer? I got through with a positive mindset and forgiveness. I forgave everything. I forgave the cancer. I forgave the chemo. I was sick for four years. I forgave everything. You can forgive anything.

The Process of Forgiveness

Host: Jack Trama:
But how did you come to that realization in your mind and heart that you were going to forgive? Something had to happen inside of you that made that switch. What was it?

Katharine Giovanni:
I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was a miserable kid. I was bullied in school. I even forgave 1974. Why did I forgive 1974? It was a horrible year. My parents got divorced. They were both alcoholics. I was bullied in school, and I tried to commit suicide.

When my mother died, everything just changed for me. I always thought there was something more out there. And as I started to give, I actually started to feel physically better and noticed more things. Forgiveness simply means—it doesn’t mean they were correct because they weren’t. Forgiveness does not mean I want a relationship with you, because I probably don’t.

Forgiveness means I want you out of my head. Bottom line. That’s what it means. When you’re in my head and I’m looking at something, I don’t want an emotional charge attached to it. I want zero emotional charge.

Visualizing Anger and Forgiveness

Katharine Giovanni:
Look at my body language. It’s easy to hold this anger off to the side. We can have a conversation. But the longer I hold onto it, the more it starts hurting me. Eventually, it’s all I can see. Forgiveness will allow you to move that anger out of your energy field so you can see opportunities and things in your path.

The Impact of Forgiveness on Health

Katharine Giovanni:
Forgiving brings physical relief. My older son says he feels his shoulders are lighter after forgiveness. I usually feel pressure in my solar plexus, which is right above my stomach. Everybody on the planet will have a physical sensation when you start forgiving.

Host: Jack Trama:
So, what happens when you forgive?

Katharine Giovanni:
It’s like a balloon. Imagine pricking a balloon, and all that air starts dissipating.

Forgiveness Process in Practical Steps

Katharine Giovanni:
I want you to sit down in a quiet room, turn your technology off, and get an old-fashioned piece of paper and a pen. Write a list of people you think you need to forgive. Rate them from one to ten, with ten being unforgivable. Start with the number ones—the easier ones—and move up to the harder ones.

Forgiveness Takes Time

Host: Jack Trama:
For those deeply rooted resentments, it’s not going to be a one-and-done exercise.

Katharine Giovanni:
Exactly. Forgiveness is like peeling an onion. If you have deeply rooted resentment, like with a family member, you’ll need to peel away the layers. It will take a couple tries.

Forgiving the Past to Heal the Future

Host: Jack Trama:
Forgiveness isn’t just for people; it’s also for situations. How did your battle with cancer influence your perspective on forgiveness?

Katharine Giovanni:
It helped me forgive my dysfunctional family, my childhood, and my cancer journey. I see the love that was there, not just the anger. It changes how you feel today. You’ll notice more things. You’ll get more friends, possibly a raise, or find a new way to lose weight.

The Connection Between Intuition and Forgiveness

Host: Jack Trama:
How does intuition intersect with forgiveness?

Katharine Giovanni:
Everyone is intuitive. Trust your intuition. It can save your life. It’s a small voice, and you should listen to it. It’s like a gut feeling, a knowing.

Forgiveness in the Workplace

Host: Jack Trama:
How can forgiveness enhance collaboration and creativity in the workplace?

Katharine Giovanni:
Imagine if forgiveness removed anger from the workplace. It would change the energy, boost creativity, and make the work environment more collaborative. Forgiveness lightens your energy, and people will want to work with you.

Forgiveness for Personal Growth

Katharine Giovanni:
To forgive yourself, you need to forgive the past version of yourself. Understand that we did the best we could with the tools we had. Forgive that version of you.

Conclusion and Resources

Host: Jack Trama:
Katharine, this has been an incredible conversation. Where can our listeners connect with you?

Katharine Giovanni:
You can find me on my website at KatharineGiovanni.com, or you can find my book on Amazon in ebook, audiobook, and paperback formats.

Host: Jack Trama:
Thank you so much, Katharine. It was a pleasure having you on the show today.

Katharine Giovanni:
It was my pleasure. Thanks for having me!

Final Thoughts

Host: Jack Trama:
Remember, forgive yourself, forgive others, and let go of anger. Start today by releasing the emotional charge and feeling the relief. Share this episode with someone who could benefit from the message. Visit MindsetReinvented.com for more behind-the-scenes content and future episodes.