Ep5: Overcome Self-Doubt, Worry, and Perfectionism: Proven Strategies for Unstoppable Confidence

Overcome Self-Doubt, Worry, and Perfectionism: Proven Strategies for Unstoppable Confidence

Jack: Welcome to Mindset Reinvented. I'm your host Jack, and today we're thrilled to welcome Phyllis Ginsburg, a therapist, coach, and international bestselling author with over 30 years of experience. Phyllis, it's an honor to have you here.

Phyllis: Thank you. I'm so looking forward to our conversation.

Jack: Let's dive right in. Phyllis, you almost quit public speaking twice. How did you push through those fears to become the confident speaker you are today?

Phyllis: That was about twelve years ago. I was in a speaker training class, preparing to launch my book "Brain Makeover." I was comparing myself to others with theater experience who could memorize lines easily. I nearly quit twice, but three things helped me overcome the doubts and fears:

1. A strong desire and mission to transform how people think.
2. Giving up perfectionism.
3. Learning to trust myself and my knowledge.

The game-changer was creating a chart comparing the "fearful path" and the "happy path" of thinking. Once I had that visual guide, everything clicked.

Jack: Let's talk about perfectionism. Many of us struggle with wanting to be perfect. What would you recommend to someone battling perfectionism?

Phyllis: Perfectionism often stems from unattainable expectations we grew up with. It sets us up for disappointment and failure. Recognizing the pressure you put on yourself is key. Ask yourself: Is striving for perfection a good use of my time and energy?

Social media amplifies this problem. We see others' highlight reels and forget they're human too. It's important to remember that success takes time and effort. I've spent years honing my skills with mentors, trainers, and coaches.

Jack: Absolutely. To make real change, we need to be willing to do the work. How do you help clients identify and process limiting beliefs?

Phyllis: I have a gift for identifying patterns. Once a pattern is recognized, we explore its origins and the choices available now. For example, I work with women who feel safer in larger bodies due to past traumas. We examine whether perceived safety is more important than health, recognizing they're no longer helpless children but capable adults.

Jack: You had a lightbulb moment in your forties about health anxiety. Can you describe that and how it shaped your approach to life?

Phyllis: After losing my mother at 37, I lived in fear of illness and dying young. Every doctor's visit or health concern would trigger panic. In my forties, I realized I was doing everything I could for my health. A doctor's reassurance helped me gain a new perspective. I started applying this to other areas of life, choosing not to stress over things I couldn't control. It was incredibly freeing.

Jack: That's powerful. We spend so much time worrying about things that never happen. What are some common limiting beliefs you encounter in your practice?

Phyllis: Common limiting beliefs include:

• Low self-confidence rooted in childhood
• Feeling it's not okay to rest or be unproductive
• Believing self-care is selfish
• Thinking it's wrong to attract attention

Many people, especially older adults, lack a framework for self-care. This becomes problematic as health declines.

Jack: Let's revisit your Fear vs. Happiness chart. Can you explain how this tool works and share an example of how it helps overcome challenges?

Phyllis: Most of us default to the fear path due to our brain's survival design. This leads to stress and the fight-or-flight response, impairing clear thinking. The happy path, triggered by curiosity, possibility, or even neutral thoughts, allows for stillness and clear thinking. It enables access to intuition and better decision-making.

For example, someone facing a work challenge might use the chart to shift from panic ("I can't handle this!") to curiosity ("How can I approach this differently?"). This change in perspective opens up new possibilities and reduces stress.

Jack: That's fascinating. You also use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) in your practice. Can you explain what EFT is and share a success story?

Phyllis: EFT, or "tapping," involves gently tapping on meridian points while focusing on an issue. It calms the amygdala, reducing the stress response. Recent research shows it can rewire the brain.

A success story: I run a community tapping group. One participant reports consistently getting a good night's sleep after our sessions. We've tapped for various issues, including sleep, self-care, and gaining new perspectives.

Jack: That's incredible. It seems like EFT can help us get out of our own way. What challenges do you foresee for mental health in coming years?

Phyllis: We're seeing increased rates of depression, anxiety, suicide, and addiction. However, I'm excited about the future. Energy psychology modalities like EFT are gaining recognition. There's a shift from problem-focused approaches to more holistic, trauma-informed care. An army of practitioners is providing new perspectives on mental health, which is truly exciting.

Jack: Phyllis, thank you so much for sharing your insights. Your work is truly inspiring. We'd love to have you back on the show in the future.

Phyllis: I would love to. It's been such a pleasure.

Jack: To our listeners, if you found value in today's episode, please share it with others who might benefit. Stay tuned for our next episode with Julie Holley, an investing expert who will share insights on balancing health, mindset, and wealth. Visit mindsetreinvented.com to join our email list and get notified of new episodes. Until then, keep living your best life!

Contact Us:

To learn more about our guest:

Phyllis Ginsberg

Sign up for exclusive updates:

Mindset Reinvented

Follow Us On:

Facebook

LinkedIn